SPRING BREAK!!!!! At least it is here. Or it was when I wrote this. Which was weeks ago, to be honest. ANYWAY SPRING BREAK! So we’re gonna talk about TITTIES. Or the lack thereof.
First off, mammals. Mammals are the hooters-lovers of the animal kingdom. By which I mean, they actually have ta-tas. Mamma basically literally means BREAST in Latin (the most useful of languages). So that’s it! We are what we eat, and we all started out eating fun-bags (or, ok, eating FROM fun-bags), so we’re all boobies as far as I’m concerned.
But wait a minute, have you ever seen a PLATYPUS IN A BIKINI? OK so I googled that, and this is the first thing that comes up:
CatrynFaeDragoness / Deviantart
and look, I don’t even know what to do with that picture.
But before that, DID YOU EVER SEE ONE? Probs not! Partly because I don’t know anyone who specializes in platypus couture, but also because they are NIP-LESS! So if they have no nips, why would they even need a bikini top?
Platypus are arguably the weirdest mammals for a lot of reasons, this is one of them! Without those mosquito bites, how can they FEED THEIR BABIES?? Well, like this:
not a great source, but Taringa
which is actually PRETTY ADORBS as far as I’m concerned.
But where does that sweet, sweet nectar come from?
Platypuses have “milk patches” where their mammary glands meet the surface of the skin. This is pretty similar to “sweat patches”– like your underarm. So there you have it. They basically just ooze milk from their belly-side and the babes have to find it and hope they found milk instead of sweat.
I also found this horrifying picture of two baby platypuses eating the insides of a big one. Or maybe they’re just lapping up some sweat-milk. Who knows. There was no caption.
Sources
Sexy Science Facts 