As you may have noticed, Sexy Science Facts has not been updating regularly. Unfortunately, LIFE has gotten in the way of FUN. So for the sanity of your Sexy Science Facts author, we’re taking a break for the rest of the year.
In 2016, we’ll be back with a VENGEANCE and dare I say…. 2016 will be the SEXIEST, SCIENCIEST, FACTIEST year on record!!
It’s the most delicious week in AMERICA! In a few short days, we’re gonna gather with our extended families, eat ungodly amounts of carbs, and hope no one gets too drunk and starts a scene. And of course: turkey.
Anyway, the dude turkeys during mating season are actually literally called “gobblers.” Like… I don’t even have to look up an old-fashioned-but-hilarious name for these bros. THANKS, LANGUAGE!
So when the gobbler wants to get his giblets rocked, he forms a fabulous gang.
In the gang, there is an alpha gobbler and some of his literal bros and/or cousins. They work together with their fancy tailfeathers to hopefully attract themselves a lady.
But in the end, it is only the alpha gobbler who gets the all goodies while the rest of the gobblers go gravy-less. This may seem like a bummer, but it’s probs due to “kin selection“, meaning when bros help bros (or, insert any gender combination here), genes they share get passed on.
But like, Finn and Jake are not really very closely related. So it doesn’t quite hold up as well for them.
Anyway, happy turkey day!
Sources
I’m in Costa Rica, probably witnessing these sounds RIGHT NOW.
Your sexy science facts host is having a crazy few weeks! Excuses, excuses, but I’ve fallen behind and posts will be more rare for the next month or so. I’ll make sure to post something every Monday, even if it’s just a turtle squeaking while making sweet love to a shoe. (spoilers)
I am going to try really hard not to make a million teabag jokes in this post. I WILL TRY, OK?
But really. Camel dudes have throat balls. I mean not exactly, in that their actual literal gonads are not in their throats. But they have this thing:
no idea of original source, sorry!
I mean. Throat balls, amirite?
Those danglies are called a dulaa (or dulla or dhula, or doula? who knows) and come from part of the soft palate but really they are just sugar lumps stored in the mouth.
When Mr. Camel is getting all tingle in his dingle, he breathes in and then whooooooshes that air out through his mouth bollocks. (Please watch this video with sound if you can!)
As you might expect, the bigger the sexier. Bigger sacks mean more testosterone which the ladies are SUPER into….. which leads to….!
Guys, can I please have a pat on the back because there were NO teabag jokes. *tear* I am growing up.
Kudos to my friend Conni who suggested this topic!!
Sources
For now, please enjoy this sexy science fact, courtesy of Dinosaur Comics!
We’ve probably all done the thing where we’re banging while we have roommates, or your apartment has thin walls, or you’re visiting your parents with your sweetie and you have to decide: how quiet DO I want to be??
And there is no wrong answer, you do your thing!
But if you’re a housefly, you might want to reconsider. When these guys get it on, they can get LOUD.
So loud, in fact, that it attracts BATS to NOM all over their sweet copulatory lives. European Natterer’s bats, specifically. No word yet on if American bats are tuned into the fly dirty dance the way their across-the-pond counterparts are.
The bats hear the fly squeals/buzzes of delight and all they hear is EAT ME EAT ME EAT ME even though the flies are really saying DO ME DO ME DO ME. This has to do with the different accents that bats and flies have.*
So flies, I hope that last coital song was worth it! Because thanks to your sweet sex jams, this might be the last thing you see:
*this is not true, please tell me you did not believe this
Sources
Some may say that all worms are kind of wang-like. Right? Floppy, long, usually some shade of pinkish brown.
But there is ONE WORM (phylum) that stands above all others in the battle of the bulge! That, my friends, is the Priapulida – pretty literally the penis worm.
I’m gonna let you think about that one for a moment.
The priapulida worm’s suggestive form comes from the dome – sorry, the “introvert” or “prosoma” – that can be turtlenecked back inside of the rest of the body. The introvert is basically just a casing for the mouth area.
The priapulida worm gets its name from the Greek god Priapus, who is literally the god of the one-eyed-monster and is typically depicted with a permanent raging boner.
Priapulid sexy times are actually pretty uninteresting. They spew their goodies into the water and hope for the best. Sorry for the let down!
BONUS STORY TIME! When I was in grad school, I taught a lab on priapulids. Priapulids are filter feeders and basically suck water in one end and squirt it out the other. One of my female students picked up a worm to look at its anatomy and was holding it at about waist level as it was squirting water back into the tank. She looked at me and said, “Huh, this must be what it feels like to be a guy.”
Sources
No Sexy Science Fact this week, DEAL WITH IT.
To hold you over… in case you missed it, in the past few weeks, scientists have been posting animal JUNK on twitter under the hashtag #JUNKOFF because, in case you didn’t know, scientists do have a sense of humor. It’s mostly peens because that is how the world works.
See you next week!
I realize that I wrote about pee like two weeks ago, but GUESS WHAT, I DON’T CARE. This is MY BLAG and I can do whatever I want!
And what I want to do is write about MOOSES. (Moose? Meese?) Because I saw this majestic motherfucker LAST WEEK and so I’m still excited about it!
image credit: mah husband
So, of course after seeing a moose, my first though is: what kind of weird sex stuff does this dude do?
And the answer involves number one! (duh)
Now unlike giraffes and lobsters where it’s the lady doing the weeing, for mooses, it’s the bull. He makes a magic yellow mudpuddle that the moose cows just CANNOT resist. They often fight for the chance to roll around in his piss mud. Whoever wins gets to take a wallow in that sweet, sweet pee.
The smell of his golden shower gets her ALL RILED UP and ready for some sweet moose-on-moose action!
BONUS PIC of a moose peen here!!
Sources
Sexy Science Facts 
