As you may have noticed, Sexy Science Facts has not been updating regularly. Unfortunately, LIFE has gotten in the way of FUN. So for the sanity of your Sexy Science Facts author, we’re taking a break for the rest of the year.
In 2016, we’ll be back with a VENGEANCE and dare I say…. 2016 will be the SEXIEST, SCIENCIEST, FACTIEST year on record!!
It’s the most delicious week in AMERICA! In a few short days, we’re gonna gather with our extended families, eat ungodly amounts of carbs, and hope no one gets too drunk and starts a scene. And of course: turkey.
Anyway, the dude turkeys during mating season are actually literally called “gobblers.” Like… I don’t even have to look up an old-fashioned-but-hilarious name for these bros. THANKS, LANGUAGE!
So when the gobbler wants to get his giblets rocked, he forms a fabulous gang.
In the gang, there is an alpha gobbler and some of his literal bros and/or cousins. They work together with their fancy tailfeathers to hopefully attract themselves a lady.
But in the end, it is only the alpha gobbler who gets the all goodies while the rest of the gobblers go gravy-less. This may seem like a bummer, but it’s probs due to “kin selection“, meaning when bros help bros (or, insert any gender combination here), genes they share get passed on.
But like, Finn and Jake are not really very closely related. So it doesn’t quite hold up as well for them.
Anyway, happy turkey day!
Sources
For now, please enjoy this sexy science fact, courtesy of Dinosaur Comics!
No Sexy Science Fact this week, DEAL WITH IT.
To hold you over… in case you missed it, in the past few weeks, scientists have been posting animal JUNK on twitter under the hashtag #JUNKOFF because, in case you didn’t know, scientists do have a sense of humor. It’s mostly peens because that is how the world works.
See you next week!
I realize that I wrote about pee like two weeks ago, but GUESS WHAT, I DON’T CARE. This is MY BLAG and I can do whatever I want!
And what I want to do is write about MOOSES. (Moose? Meese?) Because I saw this majestic motherfucker LAST WEEK and so I’m still excited about it!
image credit: mah husband
So, of course after seeing a moose, my first though is: what kind of weird sex stuff does this dude do?
And the answer involves number one! (duh)
Now unlike giraffes and lobsters where it’s the lady doing the weeing, for mooses, it’s the bull. He makes a magic yellow mudpuddle that the moose cows just CANNOT resist. They often fight for the chance to roll around in his piss mud. Whoever wins gets to take a wallow in that sweet, sweet pee.
The smell of his golden shower gets her ALL RILED UP and ready for some sweet moose-on-moose action!
BONUS PIC of a moose peen here!!
Sources
When I was really little, my favorite animals were giraffes. No idea why, other than, sure they are cool. They got replaced with cats in elementary school, and then octopuses in high school.
But I still have an affinity for giraffes. And they sure have an affinity for drinking pee!
Not because they’re thirsty, but because they’re thirsty.
When a dude is ready to go to Pound Town, he rubs his head up against his tootsie’s booty and if he’s lucky, she’ll let out a wee stream of wee for him to sip.
BUT WHY? He’s checking out if she’s ready to make a baby, too! Physiologically, at least. This doesn’t mean she’s emotionally ready!
So he follows her around, trying to stick his pickle in her pickle jar. This can take hours or days because this future mama wants to make sure her baby-daddy is worth the effort and no one better is going to come around in the meantime. Sometimes he goes for it and she’s all like “nah” and just walks away.
no good source for this, sorry!
But eventually, she might decide he’s pickle-jar-worthy and then… in a spectacular feat of hopefully managing to not fall down mid-coitus, they smush uglies!
Source
Sorry, no facts this week! Instead, please enjoy this comedy bit about sexy science. Come for the jokes, stay for the only parody cover of “Blurred Lines” that is worth your time!
This week’s post will be one day late, sorry! To hold you over, here is a video of a bat auto-fellating himself. You’re welcome.
I’ve talked about how evolutionary, dudes don’t matter all that much. There are a handful of animals (including spider mites, bdelloid rotifers, and whiptail lizards) that are LADIES ONLY. They make their babies with a few different methods that all result in a chickload of chicks at the end. What we’ve learned is fellas are sometimes not that useful and that you can’t have a species without the fillies.
BUT APPARENTLY THAT IS NOT THE CASE.
In some species of Corbicula clams, they are ALL DUDES. (Yes, I LOVE the irony of an all-boy species being also all-clams.)
BUT HOW?
These guy-clams are born hermaphrodites (can make both sperm and eggs) and so they selfie in the nature way – meaning they make bebes with their own sperm and eggs. Which isn’t that weird. BUT here’s the weird part. They somehow kick out all of the egg genes during fertilization so they are just sperm clones of each other. All dudes. So these chaps would just be copying themselves forever which is not always the best choice.
Asexuality isn’t that unusual in nature, but one of the big benefits of sex (besides, um, orgasms) is it helps living things have more diversity in their genes, which is generally a plus.
So what these special gentlemen do is they STEAL EGGS FROM OTHER CLAMS. Clam boinking is usually more of a spewing of lady- and dude-spunk into the abyss (or the ocean) and hoping they find each other.
Sometimes the Corbicula clam might find itself with a foreign egg. Instead of scrambling up an omelette, the clam might go the sexy route and fertilize this egg. He might not successfully eject all of the egg’s genes and POW. New genetic diversity and a possibly weird hybrid-clam that is still mostly Corbicula.
Sources
I accidentally published the next post early and before it was finished – I JUST GOT SO EXCITED. Lucky you! You know what sexy dealio is happening next! But I deleted the post, you’ll have to wait till Monday. NEVER SORRY.
Have a great weekend!
Sexy Science Facts 
